Unrealistic Expectations or Taking a Monkey to the Grocery Store

I wrote this post way back at the end of July just before Camden's 1st birthday. I have no idea why I never published it, but I decided to post it now.

July '09

I know y'all think that life with Camden is all peaches & roses (is that right? how does that metaphor go?), and I'm here to tell you that it pretty much is. Camden is the best baby, and I'm not just saying that cause I'm his mom. The kid sleeps 15 hours at night, takes two naps a day, usually 2 hours each, and is almost always pleasant and fun to be around when he is awake. Seriously. He's almost like a Stepford baby, except less zoned out and more GO! GO! GO! when he is awake. When the Cam Cam is awake, he's like the Energizer Bunny: Non-stop motion. Sure, we have our days of whiny fussing for no reason, but they are pretty rare. And Camden never cries unless he is hungry or hurt. In light of Camden's easy-going demeanor, I am pretty confident in taking him any and everywhere I want to go. We frequently eat lunch out with my Dad and run errands.

So we recently embarked on a grand adventure to Publix. Okay, so I had been putting off a grocery run for days and we were out of everything except formula and applesauce. Basically, Camden was all set, but Mommy and Daddy were subsisting on animal crackers and wayward Cheerios. After 3 days straight of saying I was absolutely going to the grocery store that day, we finally made the trek. I waited til Camden was fresh from a nap, changed his diaper, and gave him a bottle in the car on the way. (Yes, Camden holds his own bottle and has since he was 6 or 7 months old.) Since Camden is really too big for his carseat now, I put him in the buggy (Yes, I called it a buggy. I'm from the South. What can I say?) with his giant boppy cart cover and set off to get us some grub. Camden does much better when shopping in his car seat, but it's just not an option anymore. He was less than thrilled with sitting in the buggy, but I thought he would settle down as we went along. By the time we got inside the door, he was not too happy, but I still thought it would pass. On the very first aisle, Cam started whining so I tried to appease him (i.e. stuff his mouth so he couldn't whine) with popcorn. Well of course he wanted to hold the bag and whined louder til I gave it to him. Then he promptly threw it on the floor. I retrieved and returned it several time and just as fast he would throw it back down again. He actually turned it over at one point and spilled a bunch of popcorn on the floor. I tried various toys to no avail. Next he was insistent on grabbing my grocery list and pen. Loud screams ensued when I refused to give up my list or pen. Then he discovered he could reach items on shelves and started grabbing everything he could. After I pried several jars of Smucker's jelly out of his strong and determined little hands, we stuck to the center of the aisle. We made it down a couple of more aisles before he really got riled up. I finally pulled him out of the cart to hold him, but he thought it would be better to climb up my chest and stand on my shoulders. Cam refused to let me hold him and worse, refused to go back in the buggy. At this point I really just wanted to let him crawl around on the floor, but since other shoppers were already staring at us and the floor was none-too-clean I didn't think that was the best option.

With only half my shopping done I thought it best to proceed to the nearest exit and hightail it out of there, but I was not leaving my groceries behind! After much cajoling, pleading and hair pulling (Cam loves to grab big fistfuls of Mommy's hair right at the roots) I finally forced him back in the buggy and ran to checkout. The super considerate cashier took her sweet time ringing up my stuff and was completely unphased by the commotion in the front of my buggy. I wrestled Camden with one hand while bagging my groceries with the other (thanks for your help absentee bagger!) and we finally made it out to the car. It only took me another ten minutes to get Camden strapped in the car seat since he would only stand up in it and refused to sit down.

At long last we are zooming down the road headed home and I called Brad to share my horrific experience. After I told him the whole story, my super sympathetic husband replied with, "Well, you just can't expect to do a whole month's of grocery shopping in one trip." Huh. Well, yeah, I can and do expect that, because I've never had this problem before. And he must have missed the part where Camden started acting like an uncontrollable monkey on the very first aisle! I guess next time Brad can do the grocery shopping. And he can take Camden with him!

July 09

I just have to add that a few weeks after this happened, Brad took Cam with him to Publix one Saturday morning. Brad was only getting a couple of things so he was carrying Cam. Brad backed up to a display, and then as he was stepping away he heard a huge crash! It was a display of wine that he had backed into, and Cam had grabbed a giant bottle of wine and then dropped it! Brad said he was mortified. I have to admit, I felt a little smug when he came home and told me what happened!

Oh, and in case you were wondering, the only way I can get thru a long shopping trip now is with snacks, juice & Elmo playing on the portable DVD player!